apostitutes:

scrappylittlenugget:

apostitutes:

doinels:

my brother found my vibrator

a teenage horror story in one sentence

i found my brothers vibrator

plot twist

aslongassomeonewillbleed:

period cramps be like

image

drake & josh
season 1: drake helps josh w/ a crush
season 4: drake & josh accidentally sell an orangutan to a man who eats orangutans

hot4triangle:

kyrianne:

thatemilyperson:

kyrianne:

I am not okay with the lack of continuity for Goofy’s real name

image

I don’t know what I was expecting, but this is bullshit.

I AM NOT OKAY WITH THE LACK OF CONTINUITY

goofy changes his name ever few years for the purpose of tax evasion, he has been dodging the government for well over half a century and owes hardworking american citizens hundreds of thousands of dollars in back taxes

allthingslinguistic:

madlori:

nevver:

The alphabet fades away

Would you like to read a book in which this happens?
It’s one of my all-time favorite books.  It’s called Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn.  He describes it as an “progressively lipogrammatic epistolary fable.”
It is written in the form of letters between the citizens of the fictional island of Nollop, an independent nation off the coast of South Carolina and home of Nevin Nollop, who invented the phrase “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”  That phrase is written in tiles over a statue of Nollop in their town square, and when one night a storm causes one of the tiles to fall, the council decides that it’s a sign from Nollop that they are no longer allowed to use that letter, in speech or writing, on pain of progressive punishments including public beating and up to banishment.
Then another tile falls.  Then another.
The citizens, who are all very attached to their words and writing, mount a campaign to come up with a phrase that uses all 26 letters but is shorter than Nollop’s, thus proving that he was not divine and negating all the edicts.
Because the novel is told in the form of letters the citizens write, and this is the genius part…the author must also stop using the letters as they fall.  So the book gradually stops using letters until at one point I think they’re down to just five.
The resolution literally made me get up and dance around the room.
It’s clever, creative, and a not-really-veiled-at-all parable about monotheistic oligarchy.  It’s not a long book, you can read it in an afternoon.
GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

I strongly endorse Ella Minnow Pea. One of my absolute favourite books, which definitely influenced my love for pangrams/lipograms, epistolary novels, and books that do interesting meta things with the narrative. You can read a sample here.
Or for an even more ambitious example of a lipogram, there’s Eunoia, a book which uses only a single vowel per chapter. 

allthingslinguistic:

madlori:

nevver:

The alphabet fades away

Would you like to read a book in which this happens?

It’s one of my all-time favorite books.  It’s called Ella Minnow Pea by Mark Dunn.  He describes it as an “progressively lipogrammatic epistolary fable.”

It is written in the form of letters between the citizens of the fictional island of Nollop, an independent nation off the coast of South Carolina and home of Nevin Nollop, who invented the phrase “the quick brown fox jumped over the lazy dog.”  That phrase is written in tiles over a statue of Nollop in their town square, and when one night a storm causes one of the tiles to fall, the council decides that it’s a sign from Nollop that they are no longer allowed to use that letter, in speech or writing, on pain of progressive punishments including public beating and up to banishment.

Then another tile falls.  Then another.

The citizens, who are all very attached to their words and writing, mount a campaign to come up with a phrase that uses all 26 letters but is shorter than Nollop’s, thus proving that he was not divine and negating all the edicts.

Because the novel is told in the form of letters the citizens write, and this is the genius part…the author must also stop using the letters as they fall.  So the book gradually stops using letters until at one point I think they’re down to just five.

The resolution literally made me get up and dance around the room.

It’s clever, creative, and a not-really-veiled-at-all parable about monotheistic oligarchy.  It’s not a long book, you can read it in an afternoon.

GO READ IT RIGHT NOW.

I strongly endorse Ella Minnow Pea. One of my absolute favourite books, which definitely influenced my love for pangrams/lipograms, epistolary novels, and books that do interesting meta things with the narrative. You can read a sample here.

Or for an even more ambitious example of a lipogram, there’s Eunoia, a book which uses only a single vowel per chapter. 

xwatchmerise:

merosse:

If u see a guy with long hair he’s either gorgeous or fucking weird and the answer lays in what type of shoe he’s wearing

This is the best post I’ve ever read

astromot:

five nights at freddys more like

image

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.

lesbianlegbreaker:

superfuzzz:

even dead i’m better than u

Really? Because i busted out and you’re still stuck there. Enjoy your very tiny accommodations.